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Finished
07.28.04 (9:16 am)   [edit]
i guess im really running on a high chance to get chicken pox. not like i like it or not. to think of it, i havent really tasted the feel (er, i dont wanna feel it either) but not needing to go to school for 2 weeks is heaven now. foo can second that right. hee... hai, i miss you man, i miss you calling me shancai. wahahaa... and not meeting alvin and going to church for 2 weeks are torturous. not seeing my pals including gf (make you feel special only) is terrible too :(

and im excited about getting a new laptop. imagine carrying it with me everywhere and getting connected all time is wow! somemore, church has gone wifi now, which means i can surf online freely in church too! its really the best time to buy since apple is coming out with g5 soon. and im becoming rbk for it. gf and mummy knows what i mean.

apart from all this, we should also talk about whatsreally happening right. i came to realise one thing today. im always me in terms love. i still am. if you know me, you should know my personality too. and my few pals knows me well for that. which is good. i feel good today, though at the beginning, its weird.
 
Im so Proud of you
07.25.04 (10:24 am)   [edit]
i took time off from work today (and lugging my big, damn pro looking laptop) to attend lihao's passing out parade.

"i here by, annouced you officers, commissioned!" *jumps and shouts of happiness. family and friends running down the parade square to greet those in that smart no.1 attire.

i was the first to run into the contingent crowd and meet him, as i see him standing straight there trying to look out for us, that kind of anticipation is something i think he was waiting since 10 months ago.

i see the fore-coming days when you can be free to enjoy the companionship of us, your friends. and you no longer need to be alone to go through those training anymore.

im actually quite proud to have you as my friend. and having known you for such a long time. when we see each other through our hard times. like then when i was taking my olevels and bugged you to teach me maths. not forgetting those investments on meals to coax you out of your game time. hahaha. and when you liked sher and her coming to me and asked me what to do next.

over this course of a year, we have led our own lives, now that sher has become Sister sherin and promoted to a leader, you graduate from OCS and becoming an officer, and me completing my final year. hahahaha, it was funny (thou i didnt liked it): "eh, you 3rd year already ah? so fast man... how old are you now? still so small..." and not forgetting to add, sher is taking her degree and fighting well in the new cell group.

i missed the days... now, no many of us are left around anymore. with xiao kel, desong, alvin, me, sherin... we should learn to treasure each other more. hope to see you around more too. and i wonder again... did you just become quieter now even. your black tanned face add on that fierce look... people would think you kidnapped a small kid if you stand beside me. hahahahaaaaaaa...
 
I wonder
07.23.04 (10:04 am)   [edit]
*thinking...
james hasnt got back to me for so damn long. i wonder if he just disappear or something.

and i wonder, why do i feel so energised even when i slept for less than 20 hours in 3 days.

i wonder, why am i so thirsty? maybe its because my beloved water bottle has been 'kidnapped' by rolando!

i wonder, why foo didnt come class today when he said he wants to see me... is hes trying to play hard with his attendance...

i wonder, what will happen in the newsroom for the next few days... will i come out as a survivor?

i wonder, when can i go for my manicure and pedicure? my nails are growing like, loooooong.

i wonder... ok i should stop wondering and go sleep.
i got a battle to fight for the next few days, and people, miss me please. cos i sneeze when u do, so i know... wahaha... u cant escape from my clutches. muahahaha...

ok, its rubbish.
 
Tired le...
07.21.04 (5:07 am)   [edit]
who say final year students have the slack-est timetable? who say the final year students do nothing? i beg to differ man. i feel like i dont have enough sleep than anyone else and i just thirst for more of it.

and, today i have people coming up and saying, "are you a final year student?" maybe its just my looks, but that doesnt determine everything right? doesnt a reporter of Tribune need to be final year student? do i look so uncredible to them?

sigh, little thinga gets on me when deadlines are [i]literally[/i] flashing in my face. i cant seem to get time off from having a proper chat with someone, watch the movie without worrying next moment my editor would call me and rush me again. how nice would it be to be able to sleep sweet and soundly on bed at night, not jumping up in the middle of the night, worrying you have overslept and miss some other deadlines you are suppose to meet. this is scary man...

journeys to and fro from school are lonely. noone to talk to me, noone to ask me hows my day has been like.

lets look at my timetable:
wed - submit 1st draft of Plagiarism story and 2nd draft of RoboCup by 12midnight
thurs - shooting @ 9am-1pm, lecture @ 2pm to 6pm, some serious meeting with adrian @7pm (cancelled), cg at 6.30pm (more important), trib work overnight. i wonder how i will become super woman tomorrow
fri - media law @ 9am, er.. i dont know if i should do this or not :avid editing for footage @ noon, actually im suppose to catch brotherhood with... doc pro workshop @ 3pm-6pm, layout 1/4 of tribune
sat - chcsa meeting @ 1pm, church, back for more layouts
sun - somemore layouts
mon - more and more layouts
tues - offstone.
wed - manicure? hahaha we shall see...
 
I see you are happy
07.20.04 (5:44 am)   [edit]
this entry refer to no one in particular but i just felt it would be nice to let out my feelings now. (wow, now i feel like im very conscious about the defamatory issue hahaha)

i saw things i should not be seeing, and i heard things i should not hear. these things are some part disgusting to max and i think anyone can be excused from that. i mean we dont need to see and hear those stuff.

but also from these materials and sources, i found and discovered another part of you that i never tasted ever. for one, its a pleasant and sweet one, and i hope i was the one in the picture. for another, it is disgusting to see it from a outsider view where nothing seem to matter in this cosmo anymore, because only you and you exist on this planet.

which is better than? i think being inside is better... or maybe i stayed too long outside to even understand the feeling in there. i want to be inside you know. and i did yearned. but no longer i guessed. gf say its regreting, but i think its both beneficial to us. for now. never thought about that in the future context, but i think it should be quite obvious now why the future context is relevant to be spoke about now.

yes, i think the answer should be final (like taking the seen as wholesale). and gf, i think although i didnt get to find out personally, i managed to get some closure today right. not in the way i want to anyway, hahaha. being in there then caused too much of adrenalin rush up and down.

the exchange is just enough. *thinks...
 
This is no Good, really
07.19.04 (2:59 am)   [edit]
wa, so has been long since i finally get to come online at an earthly timing to properly blog a entry.

it makes me feel like i dont wanna blog anymore because, firstly, there isnt any real important events going on in my life. secondly, i dont much time to blog because most of it is spent searching for a computer to work on and lastly, i have been so away from the cyber world that i no longer feel the need to come anymore.

so many things happened and are happening. i think at a rate so fast i am only able to know it after it happened. well, at least i heard of it in the end, better than those who are kept in the dark all this while.

come to say of it, are these things really happening this fast that we didnt even manage to see it coming. maybe we can blame it on the the lead roles who kept us in the dark. or rather, should i say i werent even that close and important in their lives to know whats reallly happening?

whatever it is, people should be able to make sound, responsible decisions and face the consequences that follow.

i need to get 3 stories out by the day after, 'card' all those namecards (and be nice), do the shot list for doc pro, beg my mum to release my allowance for august early (cos i spent it all on thy cards!) and maybe finish reading 3 sets of past straits times which i made my mum buy for the sake of tv journ. this is not funny at all. hai.

i need to eat.
 
I love Sun
07.08.04 (10:55 am)   [edit]
i was surfing through the campus media sites and it got linked to Sun Ho's fan club. took a short virtual tour there and was browsing to see her latest updates, i mean shes moving so quickly in the media industry that i cant even keep close tracks.

not that its the first time im visitng the site (its my many times already), but everytime i see it, i see her hard work and accomplishments that paid off (although i know many of my friends dont agree here). but i was the one who see her work so hard. her as my senior pastor, i saw how she toiled days and nights to rehearse for performances and run for press conferences one after another. breaking into hollywood requires extra effort to socialise with those big shots. and she still constantly has to face up to all those critiques and controversial issues opposing her faith.

well, i guess she can never avoid these from happening as long as she choose to continue this road, for a pastor to cross over as a pop singer definitely will attract many unpleasant stares.

i vividly recall one time when i was having dinner with alvin at scotts and sharing a table with another old couple. they saw us saying grace for our food and asked if we are christians. of course we are, and we know thats just an opening cue to a conversation. however, as the second question comes off, "so which church are you all attending? you look young" the answer apparently received a unexpected reaction. "oh, we are from city harvest". *raised brows* "so how is Sun Ho doing?" *dont quite know how to react* "shes busy in taiwan", "does she still attend church and see you guys?", "when shes back in singapore, she spends most of her time in church, either doing counseling or training the dancers and choir", "she should just concentrate on her ministry work and not try to do so many other unnecessary things"

many times when people went against her cross over. once a kid walked passed Sun as if she is transparent in church. doesnt the kid know who his senior pastor is? another time, when i got to know a friend. we talked about church and stuff and got to know she was once from the same church as me. "why did you leave?" "cos pastor did not preach what he said, and pastor sun did the cross over, which is something that i cannot accept" this girl grew up in church, and she left just like this.

there are just to many things i feel for Sun. not just because shes my pastor, but i see her as a role model, a heroine of faith, a lady who love God. and there are many people who have their life changed when they got to know God too, through her.

if she hasnt have that step of faith then to believe and trust God that He would provide for all her needs and she does not need to worry at all, then she will not become what she is today. and i know, there are still alot of people who dont like her, at least, try not to associate or want to have anything related to her. but i believe, as long as shes got faith, hope and love. she will be able to spread them to those who needs it. just like, if my form teacher did not have that faith in me years ago, i wouldnt have come to know the Lord then and be converted to become a faithful christian today.

i remember once when i got [i]real[/i] close to her (2 of us, face to face and talk) was during her 2nd concert in singapore. i got a chance to present my gift on stage while she sings. i ran up, towards her and hugged her tightly (she hugged me even tighter! and shes sweating her head off, yucks i was wet after that). i told her, "you are very brave and i love you. truly you are my heroine." she reply, "i love you too" while i was still excited and nervous and all, she held my arms tightly and repeated it for another time. i could feel her genuine love coming forth, i could feel it so strongly. and i knew, that was the message she wanted to pass on to all the people she sees and relates to and has a influence over, because her God had once done it for her and she wants to spread it around too.
 
Coming back...
07.07.04 (8:36 am)   [edit]
i revisited my old love today. did alot of quality talking (quantity too!) with alot of people. hear alot, know alot, understand alot and discover alot too!

like i told gf, i always thinks: what if what if. im itching to know that thing that could possibly set me apart from where i am today. but yet on another, im too afraid to lose what i have then (now also) to know the answer. until then when it comes like given to me for free, i will then [i]risk[/i] to pursue, or else, i will always stay where i am.

for it will not be at least for now. and gf knows that. please, dont ask me what is it cause i wont tell yet. and that refers to all those who understand a shit here la (hahaha).

so far, im still happy with school life. everything has been going well. got praised by ang sin sin for doing well for pr paper. my designs are chosen ;) james replied. got his present also, and the card. still miss him, happy to miss him. finally accepted as a volunteer at the youth community outreach (really want to return something good to the society, like how they did for me), getting around looking young and youthful ever and of course getting (unnecessary) attention everywhere i go nowadays.