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| This is not gonna work |
| 03.31.04 (10:24 am) [edit] |
ok, if you guys dont give me the things i want, then i cant do any layout for the magazine.
fancy being told to completed all Feat 1 layout in a day and if it is not obeyed, marks gonna get deducted.
i need to release my stress... i need to sleep... i should just hack it...
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| I love you... |
| 03.28.04 (8:59 am) [edit] |
i really do... i hope we could quarrel lesser, love much. no more fault-findings with each other but complimenting more instead.
we already have very little time out, i want to make the fullest use of it... the reason why i do not bother arguing is not because im tired, its because i do not see you with all this, it is not from you. they are all from your spirit, plese cast this spirit of critism away, uphold your love... please...
i need to shit now. brb, calling you after that.
i think i need to change my loving style too. you do not feel it, do you?
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| How How? |
| 03.27.04 (11:35 pm) [edit] |
things have changed so much in just one day. indeed in everything we do, especially in the walk with God, we do it unto yourselves. why do i say that? building the altar has never seem easy, sustaining it even worse. yesterday, one of my friend's altar had collapsed. although i have anticipated it sometime ago, i did nothing to revive it, or did i not?
being in church for so long, seeing so many friends come, be on fire, slacken, and drifted away has always been a old tale to tell. but it has never been too old to be told. when a soul is saved, the whole army of angels rejoice for just that one soul. likewise, i believe, when she left, the angels mourned too. me too, with much conviction, i told myself i have to build a strong altar.
i guess many do not exactly know what happened. i hope she still lives her life to the max capacity she can. nonetheless, how can someone live to their fullest when they have God missing in the picture?
i was reminded of the time when sherin, she and me sat at Cafe Cartel speaking of how we came to love God, how we are prepared to lay down our lives, how we do not want to live the mediocre life we see with others, clubbing their youth away... i dont think she will pick up any of my phone calls, not to say my sms anymore. i will remember you, just like Pamela, Lewis, Adrian...
not because you have no reason for not wanting to come to church but just dont feel like coming, is because in your heart, you no longer have a place for Him. He yearns much for us to seek, commune and love Him. do you still remember that?
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| Making my Entries seem plentiful |
| 03.26.04 (5:36 am) [edit] |
sometimes it just feels funny choosing to stay at home and lock myself from everyone else.
was reading someone's blog on how she hate life now
how the politics and bluffs are driving her to nowhere. althou i am unquestionably busy yet fruitful all this while, i cant stop not to think about what she says
doing all the things i do all this time. running and chasing after a simple purpose could be so tiring. i want to take a breather. sometimes resorting to telling lies about my whereabouts, so others cannot bother me for the short while.
i find myself at the crossroad, looking for God Almighty to fill me again... crying is of no use, like drugs that sets you relieved for that short moment, when you feel sympathy on yourself. i need a heart-felt hug. badly.
[i]Ezekiel 22:30 - And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.[/i]
Lord, make me the one who can stand in the gap and lay down my life. make me, make me...
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| I shall Make this AcTiVe! |
| 03.25.04 (9:13 am) [edit] |
i dont know wat i should say... but i guess i should just start off like this...
i was shitting in the toliet just now. and recalling... of all the people around me and came acrossed with in my life so far.
after living on mother earth for 18 good years, i find that im actually really lucky. if u call it so... or ah lian style: 'heng ah!', angmoh style: 'thank god.', mother style: 'shang di bao you', daddy style: 'its just luck'
i have so many friends. so many loved ones. so many encourager, so many spirit lifter, so many teacher, so many counselor, so many adviser.
i just wanna thank all the people from my life following from the most important:
My God, My Provider, My Bridegroom, My Saviour
My daddy, mummy who made me who i am today
My dearest. he's always so nice, so sweet
My honey and baby who keeps me comforted when the WHOLE world comes crashing
My church mates who keeps me focused in all the things i do
My GF who makes me FEEEL so much everyday of my life
My gang-forever, Seb, Gen, Tze, Ying, 2HY, Jas. i love you guys real much althou we seldom meet. i still boast about how great you guys are to others!
My lovey classmates who keeps my emo flactuacting high and low like a hypertension meter
People from MCM, althou u all are bitches(for man too). keep it that way. i like just the way you are
i still cant not talk my God, who gave me all these people above. without him, theres nothing. so i must really really thank God for all these lovey people.
You are the Angel sent by God!
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| Seeing Life with A New Look |
| 03.09.04 (9:34 am) [edit] |
i was thinking through things lately. and of course, many of mine aren't publicly known by many... so it sound really interesting to know about it. ;)
i recalled this same person who gently told to me forget if i cant forgive. and yes i did it once and i made it.
this same piece of advice rang in my mind again last Sunday when she scolded me for holding on to objects/matters which no longer should matter anymore...
and i guess shes really right.
im not going to try to or try too hard anymore. i shall let things float like it is now. and i believe it will float away when the season comes.
and to my friend you know who,
i love you...
*wink
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